Does this guy seem introverted?

Having run networking meetings for quite some time, we often hear people describe better networkers as “born networkers”. That could be true. Some people are blessed with the gift of gab while starting and sustaining a conversation can be a real chore for some. Yet that doesn’t exclude introverts from being good networkers. It just means you may need to take a different path.

Take My Pinnacle Network Founder Steve Dubin. Please. Seriously though, Steve thinks of himself as an introvert. If you have met him, this may surprise you a little. Yet Steve learned how to overcome his shyness in networking situations by using skills he developed as reporter. Namely, asking questions.

When Steve meets people at a networking event, he reverts to a list of questions he has memorized. The questions are a little less cliché than “what’s your business?”. Typically, it’s about the event or something of the sort. Since many people are more comfortable answering a question rather than starting a conversation, guess what? A conversation ensues.

This technique often gives Steve the opportunity to learn more about the people he meets. This in turn makes it easier for him to connect the people he meets with people in his network. And we all know that giving is the key to receiving in networking.

Okay, so maybe you’re not a former reporter. It doesn’t prevent you from creating a list of questions to have for when you go to events. Fortunately, networking is much more about what happens outside networking events. And that’s where introverts can be very successful if you choose to be.


Ask any great networker what the key to networking success is and most will say it’s follow up. Much of follow up today can be done online. So, if you meet somebody at a networking event, be sure to follow up afterwards with a little note via e-mail. Better yet, check out their LinkedIn profile and connect.

If this contact is somebody you want to get to know better, set up a one-on-one. If you’re not sure, perhaps you start a virtual dialogue that includes some additional questions. Like who in your network would they like to meet? Conversely, you could ask if they know anybody in an area that’s of interest to your business.

This is but one way for introverts to break out of their shell and get into the networking game. Check out our ebook, 15 Keep-it-Simple Tips for B2B Networkers, for more pointers.

Many professionals regard the e-mail signature as an obligation. You know you should have one and provide all your content information. For many of us, we get hung up on titles and making sure every website and social media link is included. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. But did you ever think of upping the ante and adding part of your messaging?

That could be a tagline (e.g. PR Works. When done correctly, PR Works). Or you could take it up a notch and make it more specific (e.g. PR Works—Press releases and content that tell your company’s story).

See the difference?

You could also take it up even further and add a link to your lead magnet or, even better, a picture of your lead magnet that links to a free download (the MPN lead magnet is pictured above). Or maybe, if you don’t have a lead magnet, you could link to your latest blog post with a teaser (e.g. check out our latest blog post on our newest product/service).

Now, you’re probably thinking, “It’s an e-mail signature, will I really get business from it?” Maybe, maybe not. But you have to remember that new business is about touches. Generally, it takes seven or more. If you are regularly e-mailing a prospect or someone in your network, they see your e-mail signature with every exchange. Whether they realize it or not, that puts you front of mind, even for a very short period of time. On some level that will register with the person you’re exchanging e-mail with. Who knows who they will be speaking with who might need that service?

The best part of being more specific with your e-mail signature—it’s very little work. Change it up every couple of weeks. See what happens. Honestly, you have very little to lose—you’re going to have an e-mail signature to share your contact info anyway, right—and much to gain.

Al Gore strikes again. When researching a topic for this week’s newsletters yours truly came across an article listing movies that best explain networking newbies. Movies about networking? Really? Then, when you really put some thought to it, there are many movies with a networking element.

The most obvious networking film is The Godfather. Sure, we hear the cliched “it’s just business, nothing personal”. Of course, that’s not really true in the movie. Even in real life, we do tend to want to do business with people we like versus we don’t.

Ground Hog Day was an interesting mention. Bill Murray’s character can try out any number of “verbal brands” or “elevator pitches” and know that if one doesn’t work out, he will have the same opportunity tomorrow. That’s not always true in business. Yet if you are in a networking group and you come with the same verbal brand every time, folks may start to tune you out. That’s why mixing it up with a client success story to back up your verbal brand is so critical.

Other movies mentioned include: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Social Network, Gone in 60 Seconds. For the complete list, click here.

Are you tired of opening with “What’s your business?” as an opening line at networking events? Or the ever so popular, “who’s your best customer?”. While those are perfectly valid questions, it sets the stage for a canned conversation that probably doesn’t flow naturally. As an alternative, why not ask something like:

How did you land your first client?

This question will catch them off-guard at first. But typically people don’t forget their first client. Usually, there’s a story of some kind with it. If it’s a business that’s been around a while, it may even make that person nostalgic and proud about how far the business has come since it’s humble beginnings.

Or they may not remember at all.

If they don’t remember, ask how they landed their last client. Or last five clients. Usually, there’s a straightforward answer to these questions that don’t require much rehearsing. So people can answer without a lot of thought and it’s a more natural conversation.

If these questions fail to inspire a conversation, you have two options: tell them how you landed your first client or customer; or bail. You can use your judgment on that one. But if you’re having difficulty getting somebody to talk about their business, it’s probably a good sign to choose the latter and move on.

The point of any networking activity is to learn about other people and their business so you can be a connector. Hearing the story of their beginning can jump-start a conversation and provide you enough information so you can think about who in your network might travel the same traffic lanes as your new acquaintance.

Give it a try at your next networking event.

Adopt a 5-second rule

In last week’s ezine, we discussed strategies for introverts at networking events. Making a pact with yourself to talk to the first person you see is a great start. What about the next conversation? For that, you may want to adopt a 5-second rule.

This 5-second rule has nothing to do with dropped food. It has to do with eye contact. During the course of a networking event, you will make eye contact with someone across the room. After mutual eye contact is established, vow to walk over within five seconds and introduce yourself.

Why five seconds?

Well, in the other 5-second rule the thought is if you drop the food on the floor and don’t pick it up within that amount of time it becomes too germ-infested to consume. For this variation of the rule, more than five seconds gives you too much time to think about what could happen, what won’t happen. Essentially, if you wait longer than five seconds you are more likely to talk yourself out of walking over.

So, don’t.

If you are standing in a spot and make eye contact, walk over within five seconds and launch into some of the conversation starters mentioned in the last ezine. Or, simply say, “I saw you there and thought I would come over and introduce myself….”

Also, while this tip is for a networking event, you can also employ it for your regular networking meeting. If you see a guest walk into the room, give yourself five seconds to go over and introduce yourself. The guest will certainly appreciate it. You may also have a head start on getting to know someone you could help or vice versa.

He/she’s a great networker

When you hear somebody referred to as a “great networker”, what do you think? You might think of somebody who walks into a room and everybody knows his/her name, like Norm from Cheers. He/she then proceeds to speak to nearly everybody in the room. Or so it seems. Inside, you think that’s what you should be doing. You also know you’re an introvert by nature and that’s just not you.

So, what can you do?

The first thing might be to change your definition of a good networker.

“Working the room” may be natural for some. Yet the people who walk into the room and seem to be having conversations with everybody probably have met those people before at other gatherings. Maybe they did a one-on-one with them or even shared some business. Or perhaps they are introverts who have worked at the craft of networking to the point where it appears natural.

For most, networking isn’t first nature. It’s a learned skill.

So, how do you learn it?

There are many different strategies. Most begin with starting a conversation. If that’s not a comfortable thing for you, you need to set the bar very low. Here’s how: Make it a point to speak to the first person you see at any networking event. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just:

“Hi, my name is…”

“Have you ever attended a __ function before…”

“What other networking events or groups do you attend…”

“What networking works best for your business…”

Remember, at one point in time, the stereotypical great networker you know walked into a room and did not know a soul. Networking starts by meeting one person at a time. Give it a shot and watch how easy it becomes to say hello to the next person you see, and so on, and so on…

That’s the question you should ask and be prepared to answer when you do a one-on-one with anyone.

This does not have to be the first question you ask as to best answer requires some knowledge of the person and what it is he/she does. Yet if you leave the meeting without asking it or having it as a follow-up item, you have done yourself and the other person a disservice.

Some view one-on-ones as a direct path to business. Most times, they are not. It’s a process. Many times the person we meet with in the one-on-one can’t help us directly. But as you describe what it is you do, it will more than likely become clearer to them as to who in their network you should talk to—and vice versa.


Many times, the path to who do you know that I should know occurs organically. As you learn more about somebody and their business, you probably do start thinking of people. The pointer here is to go in very consciously looking to ask that question and provide an answer. If you don’t have one by the end of the one-on-one, then make it part of an action item list following the meeting.

This is far from an original thought. Melissa Murphy of Insight to Success put this one front of mind for me as part of her Live2Lead gathering last month, featuring John Maxwell. But if you faithfully do one-on-ones with this mission in mind—finding out who the other person knows that you should know—you will see better traction than simply looking for a direct lead or referral.

For more networking pointers, download My Pinnacle Network’s ebook “15 Keep-it-Simple Tips for B2B Networkers”.


If you are in a networking group, is your networking meeting on your calendar? If so, for how many weeks/months in advance? A month? Two months? Or is it marked for the rest of the calendar year and beyond?

What can often happen when people join a networking group is that a certain complacency can set in. The meeting becomes part of your routine. While in some ways routine is good, in networking not so much. Particularly, if you are in a monthly group.

As a member of a group that meets monthly, that meeting should be more like an event. Most people don’t want to miss events. That’s why they mark events on their calendars, so they won’t miss them and won’t schedule anything at that particular time.

While it may seem like a small thing, marking your calendar with your networking meetings for several months in advance symbolically represents a commitment to that group. A commitment you’ve reinforced by putting it to paper or, in most cases, a calendar item on your handheld or computer.

Does that mean you make every meeting? Not necessarily. Life events still happen. Yet it’s probably safe to say the networker who books their networking meetings and events in their calendar well in adavnce will make it there more times than one who doesn’t. And in networking, being their is more than half the battle.


That’s a question we have asked at several My Pinnacle Network meetings this month. The response from one of the attendees at My Pinnacle – Plymouth caught yours truly off-guard:

“The best referral I ever gave was you,” said John Adams, of Adams Communications. “I introduced you to Steve Dubin*.”

Technically, it was more of a cold lead and one other person (Stephanie Gray) had recommended Steve as well. Still, there’s no way either John or Stephanie could have known the career/life-altering impact this referral might bring. They made the introduction because they were following the fundamentals of good networking:

1. Listen to what the other person does.
2. Think of who you know in your contact sphere who might be a good match.
3. Provide contact info and follow up.

Now, if you knew that every introduction/referral you made had the potential for a long-term working relationship and eventually a partnership, you’d go that extra mile every time you made an introduction, right? The point is you never know where a simple introduction might lead. But if you do it as a practice, as John and Stephanie did/do, good things can happen.

*Steve and I have now worked together for more than 10 years to build PR Works, a full-service public relations and advertising company. Additionally, we launched My Pinnacle Network approximately five years ago and have expanded the network to 11 locations. Yes, I’d have to say, that was a pretty good introduction.)